Oh how I love finding out I am getting more followers! It’s semi strange to me that anyone would care to know what I have to say… haha, but thank you to all of you who feel like my blog is interesting in any sort of way!
Hmm… where to start. Boston is now out of the picture with a “you are a hard person to quit, but I think it’s for the greater good.” I had never seen myself as a person you could compare to a drug until that point. I don’t know where he got the idea that I would sleep with him anytime soon… it seemed to shock him that I still cling to my beliefs and I won’t do that until I am married. More than just my beliefs I know having sex with someone would attach me to them so completely I would be a huge mess if things ended, so even though marriage is no guarantee in and of itself, it is more of a guarantee than just saying we are together where the only thing that would be required to end it is to walk away and stop talking to one another. So yeah, marriage is what I want before I give it up. Weird in this society, but it is what it is.
Arizona… well… we had some good times and then he has to go and start talking about other girls at random and telling me about joking with other girls about eloping in Vegas. Call me crazy, but to tell me you have taken our little joke to other girls and then you have the balls to tell me about it right after we have been making out kinda tells me you’re not that into me. Then our nights would end abruptly like he had gotten his fill and he was peacing out and no matter what I said he needed to go… always before midnight. How old are we 16? Not that I wanted him to spend the night, but it just seemed like he didn’t want to be with me for very long. And then the straw that broke the camel’s back. High double digit thousands in debt. I do not handle my own personal debt that well, but to think that having to help pay that debt off if I got really serious with this guy about did me in. I have dreams of going places and seeing things and having kids, all of which take money. That debt wasn’t including his mortgage. The stress I feel when I am a couple grand in debt is unreal but that… that seemed like an amount I would never be able to get on top of. So on Sunday it came to this… not that into me, clearly not in it for more than a booty call, and large debt. 3 strikes, he’s out. I wasn’t sure how to make that known to him, but then he opened the door while we were talking. I told him that I didn’t feel like he was really into me and he didn’t really fight me or protest…. until the next morning. Okay, maybe this is just how girls think, but I feel like if I was accused of something that wasn’t true I wouldn’t just sleep on it. I would be doing what I could to get them to see that it isn’t true. Ergo he and I are done. I am getting really good at just calling it like it is and moving on… This is improvement. 🙂
Besides, SC and I had been talking the day before Valentine’s about our plans and he told me he was going to an anti- valentine’s dinner. I told him people need to stop being haters about that day. I have only had a valentine twice and my fiancé broke up with me on that day 4 years ago, so by normal standards I shouldn’t like it, but I LOVE that day. Weird I know, but whatever. Anyway I was at work on Valentine’s and my roommate sends me this pic of a rather large box that has a random descriptive address of where I live on it. I got home and eagerly ripped it open having a feeling it was from SC by the little bit of info on the outside. Inside was a book and a Dora card. He knows I love Spanish and he wanted something non threatening as far as seriousness. The main present was a book of the nature of the Carolinas. I had mentioned to him that I have an obsession with Georgia and I want to live there crazy bad for some odd reason… I had told him that on our first date and he got me the book telling me its not exactly Savannah, but the country all looks the same around there. Sweetest thing ever! So thoughtful! He obviously listens to the things I say… Brownie points for sure. I just don’t know how much I like him other than a friend though…
Ugh, dating is so lame! I keep saying I am going to swear it off, but then… I get sucked right back in! I just need to figure out how to la the game so well that I can find a guy who won’t drag me through drama or use me/cheat on me. So whether its him not being into me or me not being into him I’m not sure, but either way I gotta figure this dating shananigans out!
Una Vida Vivida 
Once you see it for what it is, you realize that there are all sorts of animals in the dating zoo. Once you realize what kind of animal you’re interested in, then things become clearer…and harder. Harder because you realize how rare your preferred creature is. You then need to acquire patience…and a workable plan. I offer you the following shortcut: where does your prey spend its free time? Go there…
I don’t think I’ve figured out my animal yet…
It becomes easier once you do, because then you don’t take everything seriously which is what saps and drains confidence. It’s a marathon not a sprint. Desperation and neediness is also never a good look. You’re young – you’ve got time on your side. Go forth and have fun recognizing the animals in our zoo…
That’s my take on it as well. I have no desire to settle so I just kinda go with it and kick it to the curb when it’s not what I want. Haha a man’s opinion of me does not determine my confidence or happiness. I know my worth. That makes all the difference!