Life is About Balance… But It’s Okay to Be Excited

So… it’s been awhile. And I lied in my last post. This one will also be about dating. This one is good though!

Life is really good right now, it isn’t perfect, but I love it. My job has gotten even better and I even received a compliment from one of my bosses when we were running a report and it was better than he thought and he said “Are you really that good?!” Indirect as it was, I appreciated what was behind it! I realized I was starting to become quite the pessimist, but I sometimes feel like optimists are somewhat delusional. I’ve decided to just be grateful for everything that is good in my life and not worry so much about anything else. I get sick of the energy drain that comes from having any negative emotion, so I am doing all I can to get that out of my life as much as possible! I’m trying to just improve my life in all ways that I can, and so far so good! I just moved out of my apartment and into a house that my friend recently bought. Grad school is moving right along. I thought strongly about moving to GA because I just wanted a real change in my life. Not just a small one. Grad school was a change, moving was a change, but I was looking for something more. I was feeling really good about it.

I had also decided avoiding dating wasn’t benefiting me in any real way. I figured there was a balance that needed to be achieved between really giving it a shot, but also not losing it and jumping in right away. I wanted to be over all of my exes completely so I could go into dating without any biases and wounds to punish the new person for. I wanted to be whole and so happy being single that I could actually be stable in a relationship and not desperate or closed off. So I decided to go for the dating apps again. I downloaded Hot or Not out of curiosity, and I downloaded one called Meetinghouse that is an LDS dating app which is apparently only made for iPhones. (The things you find when searching LDS dating!) I figured Meetinghouse would make things easier in a way, since religion would already be understood. I actually did meet some cool guys, but they either wanted to meet right away (which sketches me out) or they gave up when they found out I was LDS (on Hot or Not). I met some guys on Meetinghouse too. Some that I was shocked were on there (holy inappropriate!) and some that were weird… I’m searching for a balance between taking religion seriously and still being real, not fanatic or trying to sound super spiritual.

Anyway I met one guy and we chatted and it was cool, pretty standard talking about work and interests. Then he actually asked for my number officially and didn’t just give me his or imply that he wanted it. I liked that. We would chat here and there. I confessed my weird love for ducks and he just laughed and then used it to start conversation later. We had some pretty funny and stupid conversations that would just make me laugh. He asked me out to a concert, but I wasn’t sure I wanted to do that for our first meeting and so I told him I was behind on my homework and needed to catch up. That was partially true… I really did think I was behind. Then he asked me out a little while later, but I was busy. You would think a guy would give up after that, because 2 rejections usually is where they quit. I wasn’t trying to get him to quit necessarily. I wasn’t totally sure I wanted to meet him, but I wasn’t totally against it either. Well then he asked me to a haunted house and we doubled with one of his friends and that guy’s gf. It was seriously so much fun! I was practically crying all night from laughing so hard! I really wanted to hold his hand, which is odd because I am usually against physical contact with a guy on a first date. It’s usually a subconscious thing too! My subconscious seemed to really liked him though!

We went on another date a week later. We went to a snowmobile expo where I met a few of his high school friends. They were nice. I could tell they were wondering if we were dating and for how long. They asked how I got mixed up with him and I just replied with a safe answer… “I don’t know” which got them laughing. 🙂 Then we hung out with the same couple from the week before and watched a movie and had pizza. Again there was a lot of laughing! My guy got into tickling me and thinking it was so funny and we ended up just cuddling. We talked to his buddy for awhile after we left the gf’s house and my guy just stood there talking hugging me from behind. One of my most FAVORITE things! Then we went back to my apartment and were joking about stuff and then BAM! He kissed me. It was AMAZING!

We still talk all the time and tomorrow will be date #3! I’m so excited and I realized that for once I’m okay with it. Usually I keep my expectations low so I am not disappointed. Now, I feel like I should just let it happen and enjoy it as it comes! He’s not throwing me out of balance like every other guy has. I try to give him space and he doesn’t take it. He doesn’t always demand my time. His texting isn’t incessant it’s nicely spaced. 🙂

So here I am excited and twitterpated! Yay!