Sometimes…. I wish I could just keep my heart to myself.
Welp it looks like the quarter-life crisis just hit full swing. I graduated thinking I had a great job lined up… nope. I went on a cruise had the time of my life. Met an amazing guy, things were going well and then WHAM! things ended. Pretty typical for me. I wear my heart on my sleeve and well… I tend to get into relationships quickly then they crash and burn in great big huge fireballs of rejection. At least this one was rejection. So welcome adult life! Heart break and falling right on my face is how I started this out.
Part of me felt like the relationship was wrong, but he was everything I had wanted and prayed for… at least so I thought. I was going to go see him in a couple weeks. Had my plane ticket and everything. Now I’m just going to have to eat that… thank you life tuition. It’s hard because part of me feels like I really don’t understand God and how I relate to him. The deepest desire of my heart is being delayed, and I feel like I am NEVER going to get it. Then there is a part of me that knows I will eventually and God is not vindictive and it is just a matter of time. But I don’t have the patience for time.
I’m lost, confused, hurt, but all in all I still feel like God hasn’t left me. I just need to be patient, and try to improve myself.
Una Vida Vivida 