Emotionally Crippled

Look another post so soon! I am getting good at this! 🙂

The theme for today though has come through a series of dramatic events that happened a few days back which caused me to ponder on things… which is what I always seem to do. I’ll spare you the details but it was basically mixed family issues coming out later in life with my step sister. All I wanted was the facts, the bare boned skeleton of information, without details on feelings and all the extra fluff. I have a hard time showing compassion or having any sort of tolerance for an excess of emotion. I usually find it super unnecessary and yeah… I need to be more compassionate. I am working on that. It made me think of other times in my life, like on my mission when my companion and I decided we were the business side of the 2 sister companionship/duos in our district. I have since been called a “hard ass” at work because I just want to get stuff done.

I would never want this to destroy a relationship or something. I want to be more loving, but seriously I sometimes just want the jist of something so I can move things along… but I can’t figure out why I am in such a hurry to move through things in life. Also as I have been thinking of goals for my year between 26 and 27 (which started yesterday) I realized I tend to attach quickly, get hurt just as fast and then get ticked off almost immediately after that in relationships. So I made a goal not to fall in love for this year, so that I can slow it down. Maybe THAT is emotionally crippled, or maybe its all just emotionally unavailable? Either way, I’m going to d what I can to get control of these suckers and use them in the appropriate times, places and manners.

Let’s see how this works…