Jumping

Lately I have thought a lot about this action… this word really. There are so many ways it is used. Jumping for joy, jumping into things or to conclusions, jumping off a cliff (figuratively and literally), and then just plain jumping like on a trampoline or something. Sometimes these jumps are calculated, sometimes they are hasty or spontaneous. I’ve realized there is a lot to learn from this little word.

My whole life I have been a jumper. Usually into things or to conclusions and landing into those situations pretty deep due to the force of the figurative jump. My opinion is firm and my mind has been known to be hard to change when I’ve jumped to a conclusion. I have had some odd experiences and made life a little harder by jumping into things like moving or getting a different job; these not always being pleasant experiences at first. I have almost jumped into marriage a total of three times now. One about 4 years ago, one about 2 years ago and one more recently this year. I’ve decided my life will never hit a seven year itch (as they say happens in marriage) rather about every 18 months to 2 years I start to feel really super restless with life and crave a major change. Usually I move, sometimes I just get more adventurous or I just take on something huge. At this point in my life I am in the midst of doing/feeling all three. I am starting my MBA program this week, I am making plans to move as soon as my lease is up in October and I’ve been doing all sorts of crazy things all in the name of LIVING my life.

Last weekend I went with some friends to this beautiful lake in Utah that is motorless so no speedboats; just canoes, paddle boards, kayaks, swimmers and people on floaties and the cliff jumpers. I had cliff jumping on my bucket list even though I have a very serious fear of heights, but I try to do something that scares me every once in a while to get outside my comfort zone. So we started out on a 12ft cliff. That was a little scary, but not really what I pictured when writing it on my bucket list. Then we swam over to a 40ft cliff. I was terrified. I didn’t think I would actually do it, but then I knew if I didn’t I would kick myself the whole way home. So it finally opens up and I just sit on the edge not sure how to get myself to just make the jump. I almost had myself talked into it and then I would back out. Eventually this girl Spice (I’m not sure what her real name is anyway), who had been saying she wouldn’t do it, was kinda thinking about it too. So there we were, the 2 of us on the edge of this cliff and neither being able to get ourselves to jump. Eventually I just turned to her and said “Spice what if you jump off a little that way and I jump off a little this way, and we just jump together?” Granted I had only just met this girl a couple hours before and she quickly replied “Okay!” Well then Spice decides to do a count which went “1… 2 (My thoughts I can’t do this yet!)… 3 [no jump from either of us] 4…” Then we burst out laughing because neither of us jumped. We got harassed by almost everyone there and then the counting started again and we both jumped. I closed my eyes and at one point had time to think Shouldn’t I have hit already? I let out a scream and then hit the water. It was hard, but I was so proud of myself and relieved to be down. Spice then turns to me and says “I’m glad you suggested doing it together, I don’t think I could have done it on my own.” My thoughts exactly.

I pride myself on being very independent and tough. So while I was relieved, I was annoyed because I hadn’t done it on my own. I’ve thought a lot about that since then and that is the real inspiration for this post…

Sometimes in life you really just need someone to go through something with you to give you the courage and faith you need to do it. Sometimes you know them and sometimes you don’t. At times someone just being there before you jump is enough, but other times they actually need to do it with you. This caused me some other pondering about how sometimes that is what you need in marriage someone who is just as frightened/uncertain as you, but that trusts you enough to know you’ll jump with them and not make them do it alone with lies that it will be together. There’s no rush, they take their time with you and when you’re both ready you jump. It builds a bond when you take on something uncertain together (what can be more uncertain than marriage? You can’t make choices for that person. That is a lot of faith and trust) and I think in the marriage sense overcoming that fear together with a mutual understanding and care would create a pretty strong bond.

Even more so I feel like there are times in life when the only person you have to take that jump with you is your Savior, Jesus Christ. I recently had a blessing (for those that don’t know a blessing in the LDS faith is done by the laying on of hands by men who have been given the authority from God to say a special prayer and be the mouthpiece for His blessing specifically for you. They can be for guidance, healing, comfort and things like that). This blessing I had was for guidance and it said that my Savior was walking with me. When I am struggling sometimes that is what I have to hold on to. My Savior would not hesitate to make that jump with me, He has been there through many already. He doesn’t just catch you, but rather He actually jumps WITH you!He experiences all the exhilaration, utter fear, uncertainty and pain associated with the jumps we make through our lives. Seriously, that is a HUGE blessing and it isn’t just for me or for a select few, it is available to every single person. He loves each person that much that he doesn’t want to leave them alone. I just think about trying to take that 40 ft jump alone and I really don’t think I would have done it, but having someone there made all the difference. I think we need to remember that even though we cannot SEE Christ, He is there and when we need an actual person that we can see and touch, he sends them. They may be friends, family or complete strangers. Sometimes strangers who become your friend after the experience. I just have to say I am personally very grateful for that gift.

My testimony/belief of Christ is still in the hoping/belief stage, but I am working toward getting to know him so I have a sure knowledge that He is who I’ve been taught He is. I know not everyone accepts Him for the Savior, but not seeing him as that just feels off. So here’s to the journey of getting to know Christ more and to many more jumps in my life!